Soccerstoriesbook's Blog


THE USA’S INDISPENSABLE MAN

A highly motivated Ukraine turned a friendly into a mini-clinic as it defeated the World Cup-bound U.S. National Team, 2-0, in Larnaca, Cyprus.

Andriy Yarmolenko scored 12 minutes into the game and Marko Devic iced the victory with a 68th-minute goal.  On each strike, the Ukrainians took advantage of a shaky American defense anchored by center backs Anthony Brooks and Oguchi Onyewu.

The match, originally scheduled for Kharkiv, was moved 600 miles to Cyprus’ Papadopoulos Stadium days after the Russian military intervention in Crimea.  Only 1,573 spectators were on hand for the hastily relocated game, many of them Ukrainian expatriates who broke into chants of “No war in Ukraine!” after the final whistle.  [March 5]

Comment I:  Clint Dempsey did not score against Ukraine, nor did a slumping Jozy Altidore; Landon Donovan, preparing for the Los Angeles Galaxy’s MLS opener three days later, wasn’t even there, nor was playmaker Michael Bradley, who recently moved from AS Roma to Toronto FC.  Nevertheless, after the USA’s shutout loss, the most indispensable man of the night proved to be another no-show, right fullback Steve Cherundolo.

Coach Juergen Klinsmann’s back four figures to be Stoke City’s Geoff Cameron–or Brad Evans of the Seattle Sounders–plus the Galaxy’s Omar Gonzales and Matt Besler of Sporting Kansas City and the veteran DaMarcus Beasley of Puebla, who has revived his international career as a left back.  But despite Beasley’s 114 caps, the back line will sorely miss the experience and steadying influence of the 34-year-old Cherundolo, whose ongoing knee problems make his appearance at a third World Cup a long-shot.  Cherundolo has 87 caps to the combined 30 of Gonzalez and Besler, but he brings much more than just a wise old head.

Without the feisty, reliable, attack-minded Cherundolo, Klinsmann is without the player who’d most closely resemble the right back at his disposal if he was still coach of Germany–Philipp Lahm.  Cherundolo, of course, is not quite in Lahm’s league, figuratively speaking, although both play in the German Bundesliga.  While Cherundolo usually captains perennial also-ran Hannover 96, Lahm, a member of the 2006 and 2010 All-World Cup teams, captains both European champion Bayern Munich and the German National Team.  Nevertheless, Cherundolo is as important to his team as Lahm is to his.  At 5-foot-7, Lahm is known as “The Magic Dwarf.”  Without the 5-6 Cherundolo, Klinsmann will be missing his own magic dwarf.

Comment II:  The Ukraine-U.S. match and several other friendlies–many of them World Cup tune-ups for one or both sides–were played March 5, which marked the 100-day countdown to the kickoff of Brasil ’14.  What ESPN2 viewers of that game and the Italy-Spain game that followed were not subjected to was what they would’ve seen four years ago at the same point ahead of South Africa ’10:  promos touting ABC/ESPN/ESPN2’s upcoming World Cup coverage featuring the play-by-play talents of Martin Tyler.

Ian Darke, whose call of Donovan’s last-gasp goal for the U.S. against Algeria four years ago is now part of American soccer lore, has replaced Tyler as the lead commentator for ABC/ESPN’s coverage in Brazil.  Darke will be the play-by-play man for the June 12 Brazil-Croatia tournament opener, all U.S. matches, the final July 13, and other games.

British viewers in this country might miss Tyler, who we are given to believe is to soccer across the Pond what Al Michaels is to major sports here.  But American viewers will find Darke a significant upgrade–if they haven’t already over the last four years with his TV calls here of MLS, U.S. National Team and English Premier League games.  Tyler has proven to be urbane, witty, knowledegable, and–unlike Darke–understated to a fault.  Unfortunately, the end result is play-by-play that is very easy to tune out if the game Tyler is calling isn’t exactly, well, scintillating.  Tyler describing “a thoughtful, probing ball down the left flank,” is not unlike a visit to the doctor’s office, where Dr. Tyler, the proctologist, is carrying on a pleasant, soothing, benign conversation with his patient while the patient isn’t really concentrating on this pleasant, soothing, benign chat.

“So, how are we today?  Any complaints?”

“Well, actually, I ….”

“Yes, of course.   Now, shall we try to breath normally?  This portion will take but a minute ….”

Comment III:  At the Ukraine match, the U.S. sported Nike’s newest stab at designing a national team jersey.  Gone were the welcomed horizontal red-and-white striped shirts that all but shouted “USA,” replaced by something straight out of the bleach bucket:  a white shirt with single red pinstripes on the sleeves and collar, plus the U.S. Soccer logo, not the classic, old-fashioned stars-and-stripes shield the players sported during the 2013 USSF centennial season.

http://www.ussoccer.com/news/mens-national-team/2014/03/140303-new-kit.aspx

The collar is quite alright–a soccer jersey without a collar looks more like a glorified T-shirt.  But Nike’s end result is a boring jersey more suited for playing golf or tennis or lounging about.  And maybe that’s what the marketing geniuses at Nike had in mind all along when it comes to replica jersey sales.



RAY HUDSON: YOU WANT IT, YOU GOT IT

Aguera Ander Herrera scored on a low shot in the final minute to give host Athletic Bilbao a dramatic 2-2 draw with FC Barcelona and prevent Barca from clinching its 22nd  Spanish league championship with five games remaining.

That same day, second-place Real Madrid won, 2-1, at crosstown rival Atletico Madrid to draw to within 11 points.

Bilbao was nursing a 1-0 lead in the 67th minute when Lionel Messi, who missed Barca’s last three La Liga matches with a hamstring strain and was ineffective four days earlier in his team’s shocking 4-0 loss at Bayern Munich in the opening leg of the UEFA Champions League semifinals, scored a breathtaking equalizer.  The Argentine striker turned three Athletic defenders inside out at the top of the penalty area in the process.  Alexis Sanchez then put Barcelona ahead three minutes later.  (April 27)

Comment:  Breathtaking, particularly for beIN Sport color commentator and former MLS coach Ray Hudson:

http://deadspin.com/messi-back-to-scoring-ridiculous-goals-bringing-ray-hu-483785010

No, that was not a man being torn apart by a thousand rabid squirrels.

Hudson, whose outbursts have produced some verbal gems (in this case, the Bilbao defense, truly, had to have felt “emasculated”), has his loyal fans and his bitter critics going back nine years to his days with GolTV.

But this nuclear explosion has to have TV viewers here examining exactly what they want from an announcer.

For those who compare American soccer announcers with their Spanish-language counterparts, the Americans are sorely lacking in passion.  And how can they not be?  Some Spanish-language announcers work themselves into a lather, screaming into the microphone, while the two teams are simply standing on either side of the halfway line, waiting for the referee to whistle for the opening kickoff.  Try that approach calling an NFL, MLB or NBA game on TV here and viewers will storm the network’s corporate offices.

On the other hand, there’s the thoughtful, understated,  library-quiet Martin Tyler, the Brit who probably converted few American viewers to soccer with his sleepy work during ESPN and ABC telecasts of the marquee games of the 2010 World Cup.

The right approach, as in everything in life, lies somewhere in between.  At present, for those who relished Hudson’s verbal meltdown, leaving him with nowhere to go if he has to call something even more amazing/dramatic: God help you.  In the meantime, beIN Sport should issue Hudson’s partner, solid–and Job-like–play-by-play man Phil Schoen, combat pay.  Or a Purple Heart.  Schoen, at this point, surely must be hearing impaired.



ESPN GOES ALL IAN DARKE, ALL THE TIME

Ian Darke, part of ESPN/ABC’s all-British team of play-by-play announcers for its telecasts of the 2010 World Cup, has been signed by ESPN to be the network’s lead announcer through the 2014 World Cup.

Darke, who leaves Sky Sports for ESPN, will call English Premier League games, U.S. men’s and women’s national team matches, marquee Major League Soccer games, the 2011 Women’s World Cup in Germany, the 2013 FIFA Confederations Cup in Brazil and Brasil ’14 itself.  [September 24]

Comment:  First, a personal disclaimer:  The author worked for Darke during a couple of 1994 World Cup matches and found him to be a consummate professional and a very nice man:  funny, quicker than you or me,  beyond well-prepared, so comfortable calling a game he coulda done it from a lounge chair.  Darke was the only Englishman working that tournament for ESPN/ABC, and he proved to be a refreshing change of pace from the stable of American announcers the network had lined up.  And during the 2010 World Cup, with or without his memorable call of the dramatic U.S.-Algeria game, Darke out-announced (if there is such a word) the network’s lead play-by-play man, fellow Englishman Martin Tyler.

Nevertheless, appointing Dark as The Voice of ESPN Soccer for the next four years represents a step back in the development of the game here.  No doubt, Darke did a fine job in South Africa, helping ESPN set ratings records, and ESPN (a for-profit operation, last we heard) is understandably sticking with the hot hand.  But Darke’s assignments include not just English matches and international tournaments but MLS and U.S. men’s and women’s games.  The move will only reinforce the opinion among those who are not soccer’s friends that this sport is, and always will be, foreign.  For the country’s so-called Euro snobs, meanwhile, it bolsters the view that when it comes to announcing soccer, there’s the American way, the wrong way, the right way, and the British way.

And in the short term, it accelerates a trend in soccer announcing here that can be described as “Brit Creep.”  Words and phrases like “fixture” and “cup tie” are worming their way into the vocabulary of Americans calling games and narrating highlights.  Players don’t have “speed,” they have “pace”; even balls have “pace.”  Players don’t “appear” or “play” in games, they “feature.”  A player doesn’t score two goals, he scores a “brace.”  It’s only a matter of time before a struggling MLS club finally scores a goal and some fellow at the mic, American born and bred, works the term “break duck” into his call.